Tag Archives: HEALING

Embracing My Scars

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“But he was wounded for our transgression, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed” Isaiah 53:5

Have you ever had an accident where it left a scar? Depending on the damage or severity of the accident would determine the type of scar it would leave or the length of time it would take for the scar to heal. If the damage is not attended to or handled properly it will cause a lasting scar with internal damage.

Scars remind me that I have been hurt but God reminds me that he can still heal

Scars can spiritually be a representation of things that have happened in our past by trauma experiences.  They can also be a representation of emotional scars that have not been dealt with.

Scars can sometimes be visible, while others are hidden. Some scars are big, and some are small. Even over a period some scars unresolved can still hurt and take longer to heal. If left unchecked they can leave a lasting memory that we wish to forget. Instead of healing from them we bury them and deeply embed them within our soul.

No matter the depth or height of our scars, there is no scar that God can not heal.  He has the power to heal us as if we have never been hurt. We must be willing to do the work it takes to be made whole.  When we allow God to completely heal our scars instead of coming from a place of hurt and pain, we can come from a place of healing, freedom, and peace.

My scars are a testament of what God can do. Through my experiences in life it was through my continued faith in God that brought me through.  Also, my continuing in pursuit to want to be mad whole and doing what is necessary to be set free. That meant I have had to deal with the man in the mirror and some ugly truths about myself.

“If the Son shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed” John 8:36

This journey is an ongoing process to the freedom that God has truly called us to live.  I am determined to continue in becoming a greater version of my last self.  My prayer is that you will be encouraged through the testimony of my scars.

Song List

Below The Surface

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Photo by sum+it on Pexels.com

“Nothing changes if nothing changes”

As I was vacuuming the steps this morning, I noticed the railings.  It reminded me that I needed to repaint them.  Something said, “why not just take a damp cloth and wipe them off”.  I thought to myself why not.  As I begin to wipe them off, I was so disgusted at how much dirt was on the railings.  It was not even the fact that I needed to touch it up with paint but that it needed to be cleaned off. My youngest daughter was coming down the steps and I said do you see how clean this is?  She said, “was all of that dirt?”  I replied, “yes.  We were both surprised and disgusted. So, we know we need to clean them off more often.

I went back to finish cleaning the steps and as I was cleaning in the crease of the steps the Lord started dealing with me about how we are sometimes ok with just dealing with the surface things in our life. Dealing with the surface does not require much work nor does it allow us to walk in total freedom. We appear to look like we have it all together and we are a mess, we appear to be ok and when we are not, we appear to be happy and we are miserable or we appear to be well and we are really sick. We do not want anyone to know that we are silently suffering, and it is killing us.

“What is being manifested on the surface is the overflow of what has existed underneath”

The things that normally surface to the top are the things that have already being existing from within.  Currently we are in a pandemic and the death of yet another black man that has now started a Revolution is finally causing us to deal with what has always been. Racism at its best and a systemic system that needs to be broken. Although this did not begin with George Floyd, it has lit a fire to start the process of some necessary changes as well as healing. Our nation has appeared to be well and we have been sick for a long time. It is now starting to rear its ugly head.

For things to progress and change we can no longer just deal with the surface. What is on the surface is not the real issue and it will only bring temporary healing. We must dig deep and pull it up from the root. The system they created is working the way it is supposed to. Until a system that was never created for us changes and we get rid of the people who continue to work that same system, we will continue this same fight.

“Keep thy heart with all dilligience; for out of it are the issues of life” Proverbs 4:23

Before there can be a true change in a nation there also has to be a change within us.  This is also shinning a light on where we are individually and our need for change. The true work begins within. Then we can be more effective to the change in our homes, our community, and our nation.

My prayer is that you would allow God to deal with the root of those things that keep surfacing to the top, so that you can walk in total freedom and victory. That you would have the motivation and strength to do the work needed so that you can be free.

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Continuing The Process

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“Enjoy the process! Know that it takes time, just be committed to doing your best each day”

– Unknown Author –

During this pandemic I have been working on getting the ground ready for my patio. I believe that one of the hardest things in this process is tilling the ground. You put in long hours, it is tiring, it takes up a lot of your time and your putting a lot of energy into it. If you have never done landscaping for yourself before, it is a whole lot of work. But once you have completed the process how amazing it is to be able to enjoy the fruits your labor.

Before I began to till the ground, I had to first map out the area where I wanted to put my patio. As I began to start tilling the ground, I came across different size rocks. There was still debris left from when they built my home, almost 7 years ago. Some of that stuff was still embedded in the ground.

After I tilled the ground I then had to use the rack to clear the area, shovel up the access dirt, put in a wheel barrel and put it on the other side of the house. Doing that over and over can take a lot out of you but your determination to keep going is what causes you to make it to the finish line. There were some places that I had to till more than once because it was not leveled out and there was still grass and roots that took a little more time with getting them out. I would occasionally look back to see the progress I had made, yet I still had a long way to go.

I realized though it was hard labor it was causing me to use muscles that I have not used in a long time. It was strengthening me in areas where I had become weak and loss muscle, it was stretching my capacity to be able to handle more.

In this season God is tilling the ground within us, within our hearts, within our minds. He is uprooting those things that have been embedded in us all the way back to our childhood. The unforgiveness against those who have hurt us and caused us pain. He is uprooting those negative images and words that has been spoken over us and to us. It is all a part of his purpose and plan that we walk in total victory, that we are made whole and free so that we can fulfill our purpose in Him.

” If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed”

John 8:36

My prayer for you today is that you do not stop in the middle of the process. That you would commit to the process, that you would see it through and that you would finish it. Don’t stop, don’t give up, keep going. You will be better because of it.

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Breaking Ground

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“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means that the damage no longer controls our lives”

Akshay Dubey

The other morning, I was working on my back yard, as I am preparing the ground to build my patio. I was trying to get some things done before this next rain comes. For anyone who has never done landscaping work, that tilling is not no joke and especially when you are doing it alone. It is hard, it takes a lot of time and energy. After you till the ground you must level it out and shovel away the access dirt. Depending on the territory this could be a long process

I am using my neighbors’ tiller and it ran out of gas. He was away, until that evening which is when the rain was supposed to come. I am the type of person, if I am trying to get something done, I will find another way around the roadblocks. I was doing fine until I came across another roadblock. I knew it was a rock because they are all in my yard. I was not expecting to pull out those two huge rocks. Boy did that take a lot out of me. They were so embedded in the ground and became a blockage for me. I had to use a shovel to dig around them just to get it them out.

As it is in the natural, so it is in the spirit…

“There is a void that only God can fill”

When I had finally got those out, I begin to feel the emotions coming. I heard the Lord say, “Sometimes the pain is so big that it leaves a hole, but you will heal” I went and sat down and broke down, like ugly cry break down, which was what I needed. It was a sign of release and I felt every bit of it.

I went back to patch up the hole and noticed I was not finished. As I looked closer, I saw that there was another rock. I pulled out some baby rocks a long with two more big rocks, which made the hole even bigger.  After that I did not have the energy, nor the strength to even continue.

That is what we sometimes experience when we go through trauma, experience heart ache and pain. Those things can become roadblocks or hindrances in our life that can cause our lives to be delayed. Delays are not always from the enemy or even from God. Sometimes we are our greatest enemy. We can be the very cause of our delay.

“Is there anything to hard for the Lord”
Genesis 18:14

I tried to see if I could patch up the hole again, because I needed to level the ground. The healing process can take years. In midst of our hurt, trauma and pain if we don’t continue the healing process, in our need for a quick fix we will turn to other things or other people to self-medicate the pain, which makes the hole even deeper. There is a void that only God can heal.

A blockage is an obstruction that makes movement or flow difficult or impossible. Once that blockage is removed it causes there to be a constant flow. When you can remove the roadblocks, barriers and rocks from your life just think how much more you will be able to flow, how much more you will be able to grow.

This is not going to be an easy process, but it will be worth it. Do not ignore it, feel it, take it in, allow him to do the surgery and allow him to fill the hole with his healing balm.

“Don’t rush the process, but don’t overextend your stay”

Commit to the process.. 

My prayer for you today is that you would allow God to complete the work in you during this season. That you would be honest enough and vulnerable enough so that he can completely heal you from any past traumas, hurts and pain that is still lingering.

SONG LIST

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=mH0oZ8Umdvc&feature=share
He’ll Take The Pain Away by Kirk Franklin

The Mind of Christ

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When I have been burned, cut or had an accident that has caused some sort of pain, my 1st instinct is to try to find the source of where the pain is coming from, do what is needed to stop the pain and go through the healing process so I can get better. Yet our1st instinct when someone has hurt us is to retaliate. What can I do to make them hurt the way they hurt me? Pulls us out of character to the point that we become foolish. Retaliate 1st and recover later. What we don’t realize is that when operating in that manner we not only afflict more pain on ourselves, but cause the recovery time to become longer. Although there are different sources of pain you would think the methods would be the same. Find the source, address it’s need, heal from it and avoid it from reaccuring. But how many times do we find ourselves right back in the same place that hurt us the 1st time. Becoming addicted to the pain is not only scary but a dangerous place to be in. God did not call us to live a life status of a “Victim” Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus” Having the mind of Christ means there has to be a transformation which can only be done when we our minds are being renewed by the word of God. Just like we get up everyday and put on our clothes, we have to clothe ourselves with the word of God. The word of God has to become a life style. You have to put it into action in order for it to work.  Yes! We all have our moments, but it shouldn’t become our excuse. When we have the mind of Christ we no longer think and operate out of our flesh, but by his Spirit. So no matter the source of our pain our method changes from retaliate to trusting and allowing God to lead us in what we do and say.

T.G.I.F. Thank God I Am Forgiven

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Ephesians 4:32

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you”

I didn’t realize until I was going through my divorce that I had allowed the root of unforgiveness to settle within my heart. I never knew the extent that unforgiveness could cause until I became so sick of myself in desperate need and the want to change. I realized I could no longer go the direction that I was going and had to take back control over my life. As I sought God in where I had gone wrong with a sincere and humble heart in my moment of soul searching God started revealing to me not so much of others or the things that accured in my life, but about me. Change doesn’t begin with others, but with in ourselves. The biggest thing that I realized was the unforgiveness I had against my father that stemmed all the way down to my childhood and because a lot of the issues that were unresolved then resulted into dysfunctions as I became older. Daughters are always known to be “Daddy’s Little Girls” and from them we look for leadership, guiadance, applause, opinions, nurturing and their approval. There were a lot of things that I should have received from him growing up and my lack of those things resulted me looking for them in other people and things which in most cases unknowingly caused me to build unhealthy relationships and soul ties. Now don’t get me wrong my daddy loves his girls, he is a hard working man, is smart as a whip and he always provided for us , but when one is broken and you never got the things yourself as a child to prepare you to be a father or even a man it presents some of the same cycles that occurred in your childhood if not worse and not recognized. I looked for him to give me what he was incapable of giving me and rejected what he could. There are so many things that you should be taught growing up, but because of the dysfunctions of others you unfortunately learn them through your own mistakes in life. When God revealed to me of my unforgiveness and where it came from I had the option to either deal with it, let it go and grow from it or I could hold onto it and continue in the cycle that I was in. When I sincerely forgave my father it was a trickle effect in my life from not only him, but others. This was a major turning point and life changing experience for me. And when I chose to forgive him I had a feeling of freedom and peace that I had never experienced in my life before. It unlocked so many things not only about me, but it was an eye opener that changed my life forever. So now I’ll try to do whatever it takes to remain in that place of freedom and peace. Although there are still areas in my life that God is revealing and healing me from I refuse to allow myself to go back in that place of bondage. In order for me to do so I have to continue to trust and depend on God and continue to take those things to the cross. In my own strength I can’t, but through him I can do all things. And just as God has continually forgiven me of my wrong so do I have to do for others.

Introduction to Clean This House

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Break Every Chain by Tasha Cobbs
Clean This House by Isaac Carree

I was going through the process of transition as I was exiting one season of life and entering into another one.”Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it. I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert” Isaiah 43:19 God began to deal with me and take me through a healing and a cleansing process. As I was going through this transition in my life He began to reveal them to me as if in parables. As it is in the natural so it is in the spirit. He uses natural methods of cleaning our physical house to cleaning our spiritual house.Through this was birthed “CLEAN THIS HOUSE”I noticed the more transparent I became and the more I released the more freedom, the more peace that I felt and the chains that once held me captive and kept me in bondage began to break in my life.My prayer is that as we take this journey together that God will give you a new look on life and that you will find the courage to #CLEANTHISHOUSE