“But he was wounded for our transgression, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed” Isaiah 53:5
Have you ever had an accident where it left a scar? Depending on the damage or severity of the accident would determine the type of scar it would leave or the length of time it would take for the scar to heal. If the damage is not attended to or handled properly it will cause a lasting scar with internal damage.
Scars remind me that I have been hurt but God reminds me that he can still heal
Scars can spiritually be a representation of things that have happened in our past by trauma experiences. They can also be a representation of emotional scars that have not been dealt with.
Scars can sometimes be visible, while others are hidden. Some scars are big, and some are small. Even over a period some scars unresolved can still hurt and take longer to heal. If left unchecked they can leave a lasting memory that we wish to forget. Instead of healing from them we bury them and deeply embed them within our soul.
No matter the depth or height of our scars, there is no scar that God can not heal. He has the power to heal us as if we have never been hurt. We must be willing to do the work it takes to be made whole. When we allow God to completely heal our scars instead of coming from a place of hurt and pain, we can come from a place of healing, freedom, and peace.
My scars are a testament of what God can do. Through my experiences in life it was through my continued faith in God that brought me through. Also, my continuing in pursuit to want to be mad whole and doing what is necessary to be set free. That meant I have had to deal with the man in the mirror and some ugly truths about myself.
“If the Son shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed” John 8:36
This journey is an ongoing process to the freedom that God has truly called us to live. I am determined to continue in becoming a greater version of my last self. My prayer is that you will be encouraged through the testimony of my scars.
“But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;”
1 Corinthians 1:27
I did a follow up call with someone that I was talking with earlier today. She was concerned about whether she was going to get paid or not due to school closings. I found out the information that was needed and as a courtesy, I wanted to follow up with the call. In doing so it opened up a door for conversation. I didn’t know her and she didn’t know me, but we talked as if we had known each other forever and we talked on the phone for at least 15 minutes.
Do you sometimes wonder why does it always take a tragedy for us being a little more kinder, to show more love and support, going the extra mile, for us to be doing more of what we should have been doing already?
It would probably be safe to say that sometimes we forget, we lose sight, we lose touch or allow the cares of this life to cause us to be disconnected.
Though things are so uncertain at the moment and they have changed so many times in the course of a day. As people are hurting and in turmoil they grow weary causing them to be unsure of what to do next. It is in these moments in the midst of tragedy everywhere, that I still feel that there is hope for humanity.
God knew us before we were even formed in our mothers womb and knows actually what it takes to get us back on the path that he has called for us to be. Just like the ingredients it takes to bake your favorite cake or meal, it is those ingredients of life that God uses to create us into who he has called us to be. Unfortunately, he uses a little of bit of tragedy, sorrow, along with joy, happiness, peace and discomfort, etc. and he mixes them all together to mold us an make us.
” Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am they God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will up hold thee with the right hand of my righteousness”
Sometimes things have to die, so that other things can live. Dying to old habits, old mindsets, our selfish ways, so that we can birth to new habits, new ideas, create a better path that others may follow. It’s up to each one of us to be willing to make the necessary changes so that we will become better as a result of it. There is still life even in the midst of tragedy.
In this time of quarantine we should all be willing to do a self examination of the things we need to change within ourselves. What are the areas where we need to heal? Is there someone we need to forgive? As much as we want things to go back to the way they used to be, things will never be the same again.
Yet I still have this hope that we will all be better after this, as it is causing us to change and have a different aspect on life. Only those that remain the same are the ones that refuse to change.
Here I am Lord, let the work begin in me!
“Create in my a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit with me”
“It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statues” Psalm 119:71
Already at the beginning of this a New Year most of us if not all of us have already experienced some type of loss, hurt, pain, betrayal, and disappointment. With extreme anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and fear.
By the end of January people were ready to give up and throw in the towel. I had seen post that said, “Thank you January for a good year.” Because of the magnitude of their afflictions, they have already counted out the rest of the year.
“We are troubled on every side, yet not destressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken, cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body”
2 Corinthians 4:8-10
In life we will experience things coming from all different directions and sometimes several things all at once, yet God will give us peace even during our storm. Life happens to us all and there are somethings that will throw us for a loop, have us scratching our head, baffled, puzzled, and confused. But because our hope and our faith lie in Jesus Christ, we don’t become desperate, thirsty and hungry after the wrong things.
Have you ever been talked about, lie on, cheated, used, and abused, but when you look around God was still there? He promised that he would never leave us nor forsake us, and He is always true to his word. Even in times when things are not going well in your life know that God has not forgotten about you. Though we are tossed to and fro, thrown away, disregarded, and rejected, I find the strength to push through because I know though the weapons may form, they want to prosper.
As Jesus hung on the cross, he had a moment where He questioned God, but he said not my will, but thine will be done. He said, “IT IS FINISHED”, hung his head and gave up the Ghost. Now as a believer we have to walk out the finish work on the Cross. So, in the end we still win. God will complete the work that he has started in us, but we must participate in the plan that he has for our lives.
Despite our afflictions when we trust in Jesus Christ, we are able to overcome and conquer the very things that should have taken us out. Through these scriptures I found encouragement and strength of some of the things that I will experience even while going through, if I faint not.
So why in the world would a God want us to go through affliction?
When David the Psalmist talked about “it was good for me that I have been afflicted” he was referencing to the fact of the change that it was rearing within him. No, it did not feel good, no he didn’t like it, nor appreciated it initially, but yet it allowed him to know God in a different way.
There were 3 continual prayers throughout David’s journey which were:
1. Psalms 119:11 “Thy word have I hid in my mine heart, that I might not sin against thee” In order for God’s word to be hidden in his heart, meant he had to learn it, study it, meditate, contemplate, ponder, consider, reflect, digest on it day and night. Because of his love for God, his desire more than anything in the world was to know him and to please him by keeping his commandments.
2. Psalm 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” Through God’s word it will give us clarity, direction, a guide and a light even when the path seems dark. In Psalm 23 it talks about the Lord being a shepherd, so even if you were to get off the path his word will be like a GPS system and put us back on track. We must be willing to follow his direction and his plan for our life even when we don’t understand, or the way seems is unsure.
3. Psalms 119:133 “Order my steps in Your Word: And let not any iniquity have dominion over me” He wanted God’s word to guide him, to align him and to not allow anyone’s wicked, sinful, evil, scandalist, unjust, and unfair actions of man to overtake him.
It is through the pressing together that the oil in your life is manifested. So, when you feel the pressure or the fire might intensify, it is because God is pruning and refining you into something greater. Do not be overcome but overcome through Christ Jesus.
I am who I am today
Because God used my mistakes
He worked it for my good
Like no one else ever could
God told me to tell
It was NECESSARY
You can’t expect to win a fight if you refuse to get in the ring.
I do believe as the scripture says in Exodus 14:14 that the Lord will fight for us and we will hold our peace. This still requires our participation in order for those battles to be won. Moses still had to listen and to follow the instructions of God in order to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt.
The things in which we come up against are operated by a spirit using other people or things as the vehicle in order for it to be manifested. And in order to win those battles we have to know how to fight. You can only fight a spirit, by the spirit of God.
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but agaisnt principalities, against powers, against the trulers of the darkness of this world, against spritual wickedness in high places” Ephesians 6:12
Most of my life my identity was wrapped up in other people that only led me astray. I was easily manipulated and controlled into doing certain things, all in search for what I thought was love, a need to feel wanted and needing someone to tell me who I was. Instead it left me with pain.
It wasn’t until I found out who I was in Christ Jesus that I became confidient in who I am and knew that no matter my circumstances or my situations, through Him I could conquer anything.
” I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me”
“Our greatest defeat in any battle is not the obstacle that we see before us, but not knowing who we are and what we possess”
The size of the gaint never fazed David, because he knew just how big his God was. He wasn’t intimdiated, he wasn’t moved by it. He stood flat foot and he told that 6 foot Philistine Gaint just what God was going to do and through his faith and trust in God he took down the gaint with a sling shot and a rock.
There isn’t anything that we can’t over come with Jesus Christ, but we have to take our eyes off of the thing in which we see.
Don’t tell God how big your problem is, tell your problem how big your God is.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”
A lot of times we become stuck at the experience, unable to move forward because we can’t see past what has happened.
We continue to play and rehearse the scenes over and over again in our head. With the same questions: why did this happen, why did this happen to me, etc. Unable to heal because we continue to open up the wounds.
It was painful, it hurt
It was life changing
It wasn’t fair
I didn’t deserve it
At some point we have to pull the needle off of the broken record. We have to stop playing the movie of our favorite scene or maybe the worse scene in our life. At some point we have to pull our own selves out of the tar.
It has happened, NOW WHAT?
I realized there was a decision I had to make. And that was to either to LIVE or DIE. I wasn’t physically dieing, but slowly of a spiritual death. Walking, but dead on the inside. No hope or desire to go on. Breathing, but not functiong. I was a dead man walking.
Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he
What kind of vision do I have for myself?
TRUTH is I had to come to terms with it.
I had to look at the man in the mirror
Where did I go wrong
Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are somethings that have happened to us that stole our innocence as a child. There were somethings that happened to us that was beyond our control. But at what point do we stop allowing it to have control over our life.
You will never be able heal from the things you refuse to confront
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
It wasn’t until I could look beyond what I could see in the natural, that I was able to move forward.
Finding out who I am through Christ Jesus
Believing in who He has created me to be
Learning to Love me
Putting me first
Through everything I have experienced there was something that I had to learn and I take them with me through life’s journey.
So, NOW WHAT?
Allow yourself time to heal
Take it step by step
Trust God’s leading
Keep Moving Forward
It isn’t what happens to us that keeps us from moving forward, but how we respond to the things that have happened.
Take your negative situations and turn them around for your good.
Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
They say if you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything. More than not we have all fallen for “the anything” more than once or twice in our life.
Do you ever wonder why is it time, after time, after time again we keep falling for the wrong things? Maybe it’s because our fathers never told us who we were when we were children, maybe because of our low self-esteem, maybe somewhere along the way we lost who we were if in fact we even knew who we were in the first place.
No matter how we got there or maybe here, it’s how do we get out,right. Out of this cycle that leaves us heartbroken, busted and disgusted because we gave all of our hard earned money away playing the roll of house. Doing all of the wifely duets, oh wait when again did we become married? Oh that’s right WE DIDN’T.
See I have been down that road before, gave my heart to the wrong one so I just moved on to the next one, but I didn’t learn from the last one. I’ve been married before and that didn’t work. Heartbroken because I thought he was the one. So as a single parent I’m raising these children to the best of my ability. Felt myself becoming a repeated affinder.
WAIT! I looked back to see how far I’ve come and decided going down that same path ain’t worth it. TREVA, GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!
The question was, how do I get out of the cycle of falling for anything?
Getting to know WHO YOU ARE and WHOSE ARE? Allowing God to heal those places that keep you falling into those same cycle. It is a process that we must go through.
For most of my life my identity was wrapped up in other people and other things to the point that I didn’t even recognize who I was. Such a dangerous place when you lay yourself totally in the hands of other people. It wasn’t until I trusted God with all the broken pieces of my life that I became confidient in who I am.
My parents named me Treva Nicole Barnard, but when I accepted Jesus Christ I became the Daughter of the King. Through him I found out I am:
worth it, more than a conquer, the righteousness of God, beautiful, strong, more than an overcomer, smart, intelligent, confidient, gifted, anointed, overcomer, loved, strong, loved beyond measure, head and not the tail, above and not beneath, lender and not the borrower and so much more.
It took me along time to figure it out, but now I know I don’t have to settle anymore. He has his very best in mind for me and when it’s time it will happen. I am in no rush. So I’ll wait….. Isaiah 40:31