Tag Archives: STRUGGLE

Truth Is…

Integrity is having the courage in spite of how comfortable it might feel to do what is right over what we think might seem to be fun, fast or even easy. Making the choice to practice our values and not just what we say out of our mouths . Practice what you preach.
As I was going through divorce I submitted myself back to God  and asked him to keep me until he decides to bless me with a husband. I have been celibate for 6 1/2 yrs.  Yes, we still exist. I told someone that awhile back and they were floored. Their response was, “It is 2016”. I believe it scared the mess out of them. I haven’t really talked to them since. I guess it not as common or the “norm”, when in fact it should be. There is more of us than you think. I even know someone who is still a virgin.

You might say how in the world do you manage to do that. Truth is: there are times I become weak, times I become vulnerable. There are even times when I want to obey the thirst and the desires of this Olde flesh of mine. There are days when I want to do wrong vs. wanting to do what’s right. Just like you, there is this constant tuggawar going on between my spirit man and my flesh. But yet and still there is this constant reminder when I look at my girls knowing the example I want to set for them or when Iook back at how far I have come. Now that I know who I am and have found my purpose. I know own my worth and I refuse to settle for anything less than that. I now have a vision for my life and can see where I am trying to go that causes somethings not to be worth loosing all that I have at stake. 

For someone who had been sexually active since the age of 13 and then was married for 9 1/2 years you might ask the question, “Why now.” Well I am so glad you asked.  Throughout my life I have experienced a whole lot and I guess you can say that I have finally grown up. The things that use to be as important then just aren’t as important to me now. Don’t get me wrong that doesn’t  mean  I don’t have desires, needs or wants, trust me I DO.  But when I told the Lord yes, I turned over my will and submitted to His. So everyday I have to crucify this flesh. Holiness is still right.

The thing that has helped me most next to my faith is that I stay away from those places that will cause me to fall. They say if you play with fire your liable to get burnt. Well some fires just ain’t worth getting burnt. I have the scars to prove it.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL out here in these streets, but I’m gonna keep pressing forward. It’s not by my own might, nor by any powers that I possess, but by his spirit.

Philippians 4:13

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” 

I Am Determined Beyond The Struggle

de-ter-mi-nation

  • firmness of purpose; resolve
  • a fixed intention or resolution
  • the ascertaining or fixing of the quantity, quality, position, or character of something
  • the result of such ascetaining

I had been dealing with somethings on my job, that I didn’t feel like was fair. It felt as if I didn’t have a voice in the matter.  It was so stressful to the point that I even thought about leaving. I haven’t ever been much of a quiter and the only time I left my job was when I was a single mother in my early 20’s  and what I was getting wasn’t enough to take care of me and my child. Like something had to give.  I was trying my best and it just seemed as if my best wasn’t good enough.  One day I came home and I began to cry out to the Lord asking for his guidance and his direction in what he wanted me to do. All I could hear him say was stay and trust me with you. Allow me to work on you, in you and through you. I had to humble myself enough to allow God to do the work . Sometimes we want God to change the situation when in most cases the change needs to begin within us. I had to change my perspective and look at it from another angle. Instead of looking at it as a disadvantage, but working it for my advantage. Romans 8:28 “All things work together for the good of them that love God and are called according to his purpose”.  The greatest change that we can ever see is when the change begins within us.  I admit I can be a little edgy and I like who I am, but God said I need to put you back on the wheel. This time I didn’t fight him, nor resist. The work God has done in the matter of weeks has been amazing and it is only the beginning. This has been a humbling experience and it feels good to not only see what he is doing, but to experience it first hand. It wasn’t just my job, but my whole life is changing through this experience. He used my job to change me, which is changing things in my life and birthing forth somethings out of this situation.  It is the 8th month  and the number 8 means “new beginning”. What are you allowing God to do in you? We always come to God asking him to do something new, but yet we don’t want to do the work it takes for those things to happen. We have to participate. Even when I wanted to quit there was something in me that kept me pushing through. It is through the process that I am changing and so are the things around me. I found my voice and am now able to walk in my roll. DON’T QUIT, JUST DO IT. You will be better because of it.

Pressing My Way Wednesday

wpid-pressing-forward.jpg

Philippians 3:13-14
” Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus”

The woman with the issue of blood had been dealing with her issue for 12 years. As a woman it’s hard to deal with a week let alone 12 YEARS. In that day and time when a woman was bleeding it was as if she had a plague because no one would associate with her, touch her nor come in contact with anything that she had touched. She had spent the last of what she had and no one else would help her. She was abandoned, pushed to the side, talked about and isolated. ONE DAY she heard about a man named Jesus and became in the press. She didn’t care about the crowd and who was standing in her way. Through her struggles she found strength and through her determination it led her to being healed. It wasn’t the fact that she touched Jesus that she became made whole, but because of her faith to believe that he could that she was made well. Imagine if she never became in the press that day. You may not have an issue of blood, but what is the issue(s) that you have been carrying around with you for “WAY TOO LONG”. Today could be the day if you would just believe that you too can be free and be made whole. It’s never too late for you to press your way through the crowd, the noise, the disappointments, the betrayl, the hurt, the pain and be made whole. No matter your issue you can be set free, but you have to go to the right physician. Our bondage sometimes isn’t in the issues that we have, but who it is that we seek to made whole. The two options that you have is to stay bond to your issue(s) or press your way to Jesus and be made whole. The ball is in your court “Wilt thou be made whole”

Its Never To Late

It was at the age of 21 that I found out I was pregnant. It was in my life at that time that had God come back I was probably catching the 1st plan ticket to Hell. My life was sooooo jacked up as I was struggling with low self-esteem, trying to fit in, find my identity, looking for love IN ALL the wrong places. So much had happened at that time in my life the last thing I needed to do was get pregnant. The 2 things I thought were my daddy gon kill me, what church folk gon say, my daddy gon kill me. Regardless of the matter all I knew is that I was going to have this baby and I’m so glad that I did. I have always told her I felt like God gave me an Angel when He gave me her and that he sent her to save my life. I was at the point, on the very edge of letting go. She has been my rock through out the years and Lord knows I couldn’t have made it without her. And look at her now. “ALL things work together for the good of them that love God and are called according to His purpose” Looking back I loved God, but I wasn’t in love with him. I didn’t have a true relationship and I didn’t know who I was because I didn’t know Him. Now that I am truly in love with Jesus Christ, I have a deep relationship with Him and because of that I know who I am. My desire to love and please Him has become greater than my desire to please my flesh, to have sex outside marriage and wait for my Boaz. Stop believing the lie that it is too late. Holiness is still right and you can live Holy. God can purify you, sanctify you and make you whole again. No it isn’t easy, take it from one who has been married and is now single, but it’s a choice and a life style. I’m determined to live the life I preach and teach about. Don’t always make the mark, but I don’t stay there I get back up and try again. The cleaning starts on the inside out not the outside in. #CLEANTHISHOUSE