Tag Archives: voice

I Am Determined Beyond The Struggle


  • firmness of purpose; resolve
  • a fixed intention or resolution
  • the ascertaining or fixing of the quantity, quality, position, or character of something
  • the result of such ascetaining

I had been dealing with somethings on my job, that I didn’t feel like was fair. It felt as if I didn’t have a voice in the matter.  It was so stressful to the point that I even thought about leaving. I haven’t ever been much of a quiter and the only time I left my job was when I was a single mother in my early 20’s  and what I was getting wasn’t enough to take care of me and my child. Like something had to give.  I was trying my best and it just seemed as if my best wasn’t good enough.  One day I came home and I began to cry out to the Lord asking for his guidance and his direction in what he wanted me to do. All I could hear him say was stay and trust me with you. Allow me to work on you, in you and through you. I had to humble myself enough to allow God to do the work . Sometimes we want God to change the situation when in most cases the change needs to begin within us. I had to change my perspective and look at it from another angle. Instead of looking at it as a disadvantage, but working it for my advantage. Romans 8:28 “All things work together for the good of them that love God and are called according to his purpose”.  The greatest change that we can ever see is when the change begins within us.  I admit I can be a little edgy and I like who I am, but God said I need to put you back on the wheel. This time I didn’t fight him, nor resist. The work God has done in the matter of weeks has been amazing and it is only the beginning. This has been a humbling experience and it feels good to not only see what he is doing, but to experience it first hand. It wasn’t just my job, but my whole life is changing through this experience. He used my job to change me, which is changing things in my life and birthing forth somethings out of this situation.  It is the 8th month  and the number 8 means “new beginning”. What are you allowing God to do in you? We always come to God asking him to do something new, but yet we don’t want to do the work it takes for those things to happen. We have to participate. Even when I wanted to quit there was something in me that kept me pushing through. It is through the process that I am changing and so are the things around me. I found my voice and am now able to walk in my roll. DON’T QUIT, JUST DO IT. You will be better because of it.

Just As I Am

I was sitting at my job one day  when all of a sudden I heard the most beautiful voice I had ever heard of in my life.  The sound that I heard was so pure, as if it were coming from heaven.  When I looked up it was a young man who was disabled. By looking at him you would have never expected that to come out of him. There were no words, just this beautiful melody. It would go in and out of melody to a noise, but oh how beautiful it was.  I was sitting there trying to hold back the tears because I had never heard anything like that and it touched my heart so. His voice would carry through out the waiting room and people would come out of the back wondering what was all that noise, but they failed to hear the melody that was flowing from his heart.  I would see the looks and feeling people wanting him to shut up, but they had no clue.  This wasn’t some ordinary noise that you would normally hear and because they weren’t tuned in they could not hear what I could hear.  It was music to my ears and some how brought peace to my soul.  I asked  his case worker had he always been disabled and she said yes. Wow! I was even more blown away.  He most definitely has a unique gift.  In my stupidity I began to think how much more he could be if someone knew how to work with him, to cultivate what he has. The Lord immediately rebuked me by telling me he is fine just the way that he is and I understand exactly what he is saying to me. I found myself repenting almost to the point of tears because of my thoughts.  Psalm 139:14 “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well”  When God created us, he created us in his image.  He already knew when he created us that we would not be perfect, that we would have flaws, dysfunctions and make  A WHOLE LOT of mistakes, but yet he loved us enough to still create us. In that one moment I almost lost sight of that very thing. We were wonderfully, fearfully created made by the Master and we are all unique in our own way. This world can be very cruel and harsh, but when we can grab a hold of who God has created us to be and tap into the uniqueness within ourselves, what he has given us needs to be shared with the world.  when God created you he broke the mold. Just think if we were all created the same.  Yeah! I know BORING, but he didn’t because of who you are, what he has created you to be and what you have to offer is what we need in this world that has grown cold.  When you look in the mirror and think about who you want to be like, dare to be the best authentic you that God has created to you to be. I always get excited when he comes in. So now when he comes into my Doctors Office I say here comes my Hummingbird. I smile big and listen to him sing. Not everyone will hear you, listen to you,  understand you, respond or even notice you.  They may even reject you, make fun of you or even ignore you, but don’t you ever stop being you.  Someone see’s you and love’s you just the way you are.