All posts by Treva Barnard

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About Treva Barnard

She is the mother of 3 beautiful girls, an author, a mentor, an inspirational writer and a minister in the gospel.

I Know Who I Am

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They say if you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything. More than not we have all fallen for “the anything” more than once or twice in our life.

Do you ever wonder why is it time, after time, after time again we keep falling for the wrong things? Maybe it’s because our fathers never told us who we were when we were children, maybe because of our low self-esteem, maybe somewhere along the way we lost who we were if in fact we even knew who we were in the first place.

No matter how we got there or maybe here, it’s how do we get out,right.  Out of this cycle that leaves us heartbroken, busted and disgusted because we gave all of our hard earned money away playing the roll of house. Doing all of the wifely duets, oh wait when  again did we become married? Oh that’s right WE DIDN’T.

See I have been down that road before, gave my heart to the wrong one so I just moved on to the next one, but I didn’t learn from the last one. I’ve been married before and that didn’t work. Heartbroken because I  thought he was the one. So as a single parent I’m raising these children to the best of my ability.  Felt myself becoming a repeated affinder.

WAIT! I looked back to see how far I’ve come and decided going down that same path ain’t worth it. TREVA, GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!

The question was, how do I get out of the cycle of falling for anything?

Getting to know WHO YOU ARE and WHOSE ARE? Allowing God to heal those places that keep you falling into those same cycle. It is a process that we must go through. 

For most of my life my identity was wrapped up in other people and other things to the point that I didn’t even recognize who I was. Such a dangerous place when you lay yourself totally in the hands of other people. It wasn’t until I trusted God with all the broken pieces of my life that I became confidient in who I am.
My parents named me Treva Nicole Barnard, but when I accepted Jesus Christ I became the Daughter of the King. Through him I found out I am:

worth it, more than a conquer, the righteousness of God, beautiful, strong, more than an overcomer, smart, intelligent, confidient, gifted, anointed, overcomer, loved, strong, loved beyond measure, head and not the tail, above and not beneath, lender and not the borrower and so much more.

It took me along time to figure it out, but now I know I don’t have to settle anymore. He has his very best in mind for me and when it’s time it will happen. I am in no rush. So I’ll wait….. Isaiah 40:31

Small Beginnings 

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The other day me and my girls had gone to visit my sister and her family. As we were looking at the gifts my nephews had received for Christmas my sister was holding one in her hand that she was getting ready to put away. She said that her mother had gotten them for the boys, but when she looked at all it entailed she said there was no way she was going to even attempt with putting it together. I looked at the box and then took out the contents and said, “Let me try it.” They thought that I was crazy, but I didn’t have any doubt I couldn’t do it. It was a very long an strenuous process. It was a roller coaster that had a million tiny pieces. And looking at the picture there was a big hill and at least four loops with curves. You had to follow directions which caused you to be able to pay attention to details. Now that is one of my strong points. As I would progress they stood in amazement and were surprised that I hadn’t given up yet. My sister told my I had the patience of Job. She said, “You have been steady, diligent and focused.” I was almost finished with it, but there was a part at the bottom that wasn’t working properly which was causing me to get frustrated. It had already been at least three hours that I had been working on it and I was a little tired. I couldn’t understand what was going on because I had followed the directions. I had  to improvise in order for it to work. When I looked at the back of the instruction manual I realized it operated on batteries. You have got to be kidding me, right. I had not noticed it said anything about batteries until I looked at the front of the manual and there it was. I’m not sure how I missed that. Either way I was able to get it operating, but the cart wasn’t gaining enough speed to make all the transitions. I couldn’t figure it out to save my life. Frustrated, I decided to pull myself away from it. Deep breath. In the back of my mind I was still trying to figure it out because I wasn’t willing to give up on it. I had come to far and had put too  much work into it to just let it go. Something said, “Start the cart from the bottom of the hill and reverse the direction  it was pulling up the hill.”  With excitement I screamed, “I did it, it works” Everyone came in to see it. There were two areas within the loops that it wouldn’t complete the flip, but with a little push it completed the loops and started over. We were all happy with that. My nephew was ready  to try it for himself. 

Zechariah 4:10 ” Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand”

Sometimes we can become discouraged, frustrated, overwhelmed and want to give up because we think what we are doing isn’t working. But the same process it takes for a seed to become a plant, a flower or even a tree or a caterpillar to become a butterfly, is the same process it will take for our visions, hopes and our dreams to come into fruition. We have to keeping working at it and watering it. Before we know it the very thing that started off small has turned into something much bigger than we had even expected.  What was once a dream has become a reality. My encouragement to you is, “Don’t give up on it just yet.”

Truth Is…

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Integrity is having the courage in spite of how comfortable it might feel to do what is right over what we think might seem to be fun, fast or even easy. Making the choice to practice our values and not just what we say out of our mouths . Practice what you preach.
As I was going through divorce I submitted myself back to God  and asked him to keep me until he decides to bless me with a husband. I have been celibate for 6 1/2 yrs.  Yes, we still exist. I told someone that awhile back and they were floored. Their response was, “It is 2016”. I believe it scared the mess out of them. I haven’t really talked to them since. I guess it not as common or the “norm”, when in fact it should be. There is more of us than you think. I even know someone who is still a virgin.

You might say how in the world do you manage to do that. Truth is: there are times I become weak, times I become vulnerable. There are even times when I want to obey the thirst and the desires of this Olde flesh of mine. There are days when I want to do wrong vs. wanting to do what’s right. Just like you, there is this constant tuggawar going on between my spirit man and my flesh. But yet and still there is this constant reminder when I look at my girls knowing the example I want to set for them or when Iook back at how far I have come. Now that I know who I am and have found my purpose. I know own my worth and I refuse to settle for anything less than that. I now have a vision for my life and can see where I am trying to go that causes somethings not to be worth loosing all that I have at stake. 

For someone who had been sexually active since the age of 13 and then was married for 9 1/2 years you might ask the question, “Why now.” Well I am so glad you asked.  Throughout my life I have experienced a whole lot and I guess you can say that I have finally grown up. The things that use to be as important then just aren’t as important to me now. Don’t get me wrong that doesn’t  mean  I don’t have desires, needs or wants, trust me I DO.  But when I told the Lord yes, I turned over my will and submitted to His. So everyday I have to crucify this flesh. Holiness is still right.

The thing that has helped me most next to my faith is that I stay away from those places that will cause me to fall. They say if you play with fire your liable to get burnt. Well some fires just ain’t worth getting burnt. I have the scars to prove it.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL out here in these streets, but I’m gonna keep pressing forward. It’s not by my own might, nor by any powers that I possess, but by his spirit.

Philippians 4:13

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” 

Keep Growing

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The other day my girls and I were at the mall doing a little Christmas shopping and we happened to run into one of their friends from school. As they were talking about their grades he mentioned that he was a straight “A” student and thought about skipping school on Monday. Of course the mother in me steps in and says your going to skip school on Monday because of what?  He said, I am a straight “A” student.  Ok so that means what? He then replied, I thought that I would take a break. That is not an excuse for  you to become comfortable and to take it  easy. Nor should you stop trying. That is more of a reason why you should press harder so that you can maintain your status. Besides skipping school can also cause you to get into trouble. He smiled and said,  ok we will see. I said, ok so I’m going to be your mother at this moment.  Let me find out  you skipped school. We all started laughing, but they knew I was serious. I had to pick my daughter up from basketball practice on Monday and I happened to see him outside. I said I see you came to school today and we started laughing. It’s so easy to become comfortable in a good place, but it can also cause us to become lazy or get off track. We should never stop learning to the point where we think that we have arrived. If we stop learning, we stop growing and if we stop growing our life comes to a halt. Don’t let life just pass you by, keep growing. 

Today I Am Grateful…

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I’ve got so much to thank God for

So many wonderful blessings and so many open doors

A brand new mercy

Along with each new day

That’s why I praise You

And for this I give You Praise

This year I wanted to do something a little different for Thanksgiving.  Kinda tired of the same old thing.  Holidays has always been important to me and now so much has changed. Holidays are sometimes a struggle to get through. My girls are away, most of my family works or are not here. Sitting at home starring at a screen TV wasn’t what I had in mind, so I decided to go and volunteer at the Salvation Army. It wasn’t the 1st time that I have volunteered nor helped feed the homeless, but this was a whole different setting for me. Normally when I have volunteered it was with other people that I knew or people that I was familiar with. Today I didn’t know anyone and wasn’t sure what to expect. I got there and introduced myself and asked how could I help. I was working in a small corner with 2 other ladies and while we were putting some snack packets together we opened up with some conversation. There were so many of us there that we were kinda running out of things to do. It had only been  30 minutes and it was another hour before the 1st group of people were going to come through. They had given us the option to leave and come back or we could stay. Honestly part of me wanted to leave, but there was something on the inside telling me that I needed to stay, so I did. I went out and sat at the table thumbing through my phone and one of the ladies came and sat at the table with me.  To be respectful I placed my phone down and we started conversating and then someone else came to join us. It was almost time to feed the 1st group and they were getting prepared to start serving, so we got up to assist them. People started to come in, most of them with smiles and a grateful heart. Some of them were a little shy, but by their second time around most of them had opened up.  We had  a little time before the next crowd was to come in and there were 2 gentlemen that were still there so we went out and mingled with them. Proverbs 18:24 ” A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother”  It was time for the next group to come in and just when we had gotten started one of the gentlemen that we had talked to had given a card to the staff, myself and the other young lady and sons that came out to talk with him. He went on to say, “I just wanted to say thank you for being my family this holiday”  It hit me like a ton of bricks because sometimes we are all that they have. I was humbled and grateful.  There were so many small moments like that throughout that day, but the other one that really stuck out to me was a young girl that came in on crutches with two younger children.  This was their 2nd time coming in that day. I noticed she was sitting at the table balling. Some of the volunteers tried to go out and talk to her, but they were so overwhelmed with what she was going through they had to step away. I stood there and I prayed, Lord give me what to say  and I waited on him to tell me when. I heard the song, “Things are going to get better, things are going to get better, don’t be discouraged by what you see, things are going to get better, better for me” I went over to her and asked her if I could give her a hug and she said yes. She broke down and then said thank you. I began to minister to her and tell my story in hopes that it might encourage her in what she was going through. When she left that day she had a smile on her face instead of tears. Sometimes we can get so bogged down with our own life that we don’t realize that someone else is going through much more than what we might be. Not only that, but some else needs to hear our story to help them persevere through what they are going through and then in turn be able to help somebody else. We have all had to go through to get to the other side.  Somethings we aren’t proud of, but it all has caused us to be where we are today. Someone is in need of your story. I am grateful that I didn’t leave that day.  I would have missed out on so many opportunities to help someone else in need.

Don’t Get Distracted

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Last year I went to go see my daughter in L.A. and while she was in class I decided to go take a walk downtown Hollywood. As I came to the intersection there were several directions in which I could go. I had already gone down the street straight ahead of me on my last trip so there was no need for me to go that way again. I decided to take a left turn and although I had been down that way before I decided to go a little bit further to see what might be down that way. I was amazed at the architect on some of the buildings, and some of the flowers and other scenory that I saw a long the way. As I came to another intersection I had this feeling that I needed to turn around and go back, so I did. As I was walking back I would occasionally turn around and look back because I wasn’t sure why I felt that way. It was one of those gut feelings, so I took it as a warning and kept moving forward. Think had I not listened to my instincts. Life will offer you many directions in which you could go, but not every direction will lead you to the destination God has for your life. No matter how appealing  it may be, don’t allow it to pull you in the wrong direction. Follow his lead.  Proverbs 14 ” There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death”   The enemy will bring what is appealing to your flesh to get you to take the bait. Don’t be fooled, keep it moving. Our defeat along the journey is because of our inability to trust God and in the ability to think we can handle it all on our own.  

There Is A Way Out

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I remember when my daughter was in the 1st grade and I went with her  on their field trip to a pumpkin patch farm. They had all kind of activities for them to participate in  as well as being able to pick out their own pumpkins.  One of the things we decided to do, was go inside the maze. The object of the maze was being able to find your way out. The maze wasn’t very big, but I immediately started feeling clostiphobic. I don’t deal with small tight places that I can’t see my way out of. Because I was with my daughter I couldn’t show any signs of fear, as she was already nervous about going in. We dared to go inside the maze and as we were walking we would see different objects along the way. We didn’t pay attention until we came around to them again. That was an indication that we were going in circles and needed to make a turn. As we went around again we paid closer attention to the landmarks and before we knew it we were out of the maze. Life has a way of setting up detours, road blocks, obstacles, etc. To be quiet honest we make a lot of those things happen ourselves by the decisions and choices that we make. Sometimes we become stagnated because we see the same old scenory and allow ourselves to become discouraged in thinking there is no way out,  even to the point that we stop trying. We accept that as our life. I have good news for you, “There Is A Way Out”  1 Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” If you find yourself going down the same path or your going in circles trapped inside your own maze, maybe it’s because your not paying attention to how to get out. Lessons experienced over and over again are because we don’t learn from going through them the first time. You have the power to stop the cycle from repeating itself. God never intended for us to stay where we are, but it’s up to us whether we want to get out. WAKE UP and PAY ATTENTION!

I Am Determined Beyond The Struggle

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de-ter-mi-nation

  • firmness of purpose; resolve
  • a fixed intention or resolution
  • the ascertaining or fixing of the quantity, quality, position, or character of something
  • the result of such ascetaining

I had been dealing with somethings on my job, that I didn’t feel like was fair. It felt as if I didn’t have a voice in the matter.  It was so stressful to the point that I even thought about leaving. I haven’t ever been much of a quiter and the only time I left my job was when I was a single mother in my early 20’s  and what I was getting wasn’t enough to take care of me and my child. Like something had to give.  I was trying my best and it just seemed as if my best wasn’t good enough.  One day I came home and I began to cry out to the Lord asking for his guidance and his direction in what he wanted me to do. All I could hear him say was stay and trust me with you. Allow me to work on you, in you and through you. I had to humble myself enough to allow God to do the work . Sometimes we want God to change the situation when in most cases the change needs to begin within us. I had to change my perspective and look at it from another angle. Instead of looking at it as a disadvantage, but working it for my advantage. Romans 8:28 “All things work together for the good of them that love God and are called according to his purpose”.  The greatest change that we can ever see is when the change begins within us.  I admit I can be a little edgy and I like who I am, but God said I need to put you back on the wheel. This time I didn’t fight him, nor resist. The work God has done in the matter of weeks has been amazing and it is only the beginning. This has been a humbling experience and it feels good to not only see what he is doing, but to experience it first hand. It wasn’t just my job, but my whole life is changing through this experience. He used my job to change me, which is changing things in my life and birthing forth somethings out of this situation.  It is the 8th month  and the number 8 means “new beginning”. What are you allowing God to do in you? We always come to God asking him to do something new, but yet we don’t want to do the work it takes for those things to happen. We have to participate. Even when I wanted to quit there was something in me that kept me pushing through. It is through the process that I am changing and so are the things around me. I found my voice and am now able to walk in my roll. DON’T QUIT, JUST DO IT. You will be better because of it.

Taking It Back

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“You are worthless, you will never amount to anything, you will never be anybody special, you are no good, you are a failure, you mean nothing to me”

Those are some of the words we have heard in our life time. As we kept hearing them over and over again, we thought, it must be true. At some point we took those things in and gave up our power to be. Even when someone tried to tell us different we didn’t believe it because we had already posioned ourselves with those other negative thoughts and images. They came from people who were the closest to us, the people we loved and who we thought loved us in return. What we failed to realize is that the negative words they spoke over us were the things they felt about themselves. As long as they weakened others, in their own eyes they felt and remained “strong”. That’s not strength, that’s being a coward. True strength comes from being able to lift someone up, not by tearing them down. No one can take anything away from you unless you lay it down. You gave away your power and your strength. Well I have good news for you, today is a new day. Today is, “TAKE BACK MY POWER DAY”. You are not those ugly things they have said about you or to you. “You are priceless, you are somebody, you are going somewhere, your failures are making you into someone great, there is someone out there just for you, you are loved beyond measure”. Today transform your mind and replace the negative thoughts and images with postives ones and watch your life transform right before your eyes. Today is a good day to take another step forward. Reposition yourself. I BELIEVE in YOU. NOW YOU BELIEVE in YOURSELF. 

The Unavoidable

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I remember when I was traveling to Knoxville, TN as I was going down the mountain there was always two sets of tunnels that I had to pass through. That was a land mark to let me know that I was halfway to reaching my destination. The thing is I couldn’t get to my destination without going through those tunnels. There was no short cut or any other route that I could take. Coming back home I had to go through those same tunnels. Though the tunnel can sometimes be dark and the way through seems narrow, it is unavoidable to get to the otherside.  Life is a mystery and it change with out notice. It can be very painful  and joyful  all at the same time. You can find yourself saying, “If it ain’t one thing, it’s always another”.  There are some things that we can avoid by the decisions and choices that we make. Then there are some times when life just happens and  no matter what we do the obstacles, the situations,  circumstances can’t be avoided. It is all part of the process to us becoming. It’s like baking a cake, if you leave out any of the important ingredients the cake will be a flop. No matter your destination you can’t get to it without going through the process. It is through the process that we are created and it pushes us to becoming  who God has called us to be. My encouragement to you today is don’t give up, but go through the process. Look beyond what you can see right now. There is something greater on the other side of the tunnel.