All posts by Treva Barnard

Unknown's avatar

About Treva Barnard

She is the mother of 3 beautiful girls, an author, a mentor, an inspirational writer and a minister in the gospel.

I’m In Recovery

Inspirational, , , , ,

Harvest Song by Anthony Brown

In 2004 at the age of 29 I had to to have a laparoscopic surgery because they thought that I might have endometriosis. For several yrs I dealt with abdominal pain, bursting cyst to where I couldn’t walk and the loss of a child. The doctors told me the end result which is that I may not ever be able to have anymore kids. Who’s report will you believe? I still was trusting in God in spite of the report. I had never had surgery before so I was a little afraid of being put to sleep and the flooding thoughts of what if’s begin to bombard my mind. As I was praying before surgery God told me to just say “yes”. At the time God was calling me into ministry to preach the Gospel and I was running from the call. I said, “yes” and He said, “It is well”. The surgery would consist of 4 incisions that would allow them take cameras inside to explore. The recovery time would take about 2-3 weeks and I would experience some minor pain. It was an outpatient procedure, so when I came to I was in a recovery room or holding area. They wanted to make sure that I was ok and that there where no complications after surgery. I vaguely could remember who I saw, but I could hear and recognize their voices. The thing I remembered the most was the amount of pain that I was in. It wasn’t minor at all. Before they released me they told me that everything went well, they went ahead and took out my appendix and that they found no trace of endometriosis. They went on to say that although they didn’t find anything doesn’t mean it’s not there. I knew that it was God that healed me. I am one who doesn’t tolerate pain very well, but I knew it was part of my recovery process due to the extent of my surgery. I think about the process and the time it make take for one to recover. Sometimes it can be very extensive and though the doctors give you a time frame it sometimes depends on the person. Though the beginning stages of recovery maybe painful it is not only necessary but there are great things birthed through pain. Despite their negative report of me not being able have anymore kids that following year the Lord blessed us to have 2. Joel 2:25 “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent before you” You may have lost a lot in times past, but the things that God is going to recover and restore in your life is greater than the things that you have lost. And we shall recover all. #CLEANTHISHOUSE

Lord Make Me Over

Inspirational, , , , ,

Rebuild Me by J Moss

Make Me Over By Tonex
I think that the Transformers is probably one of my best Action movies. I am fascinated with their whole transformation from a vehicle or air craft into these unbelievable creations. You would have never thought all of that was built inside of one. It all came out when they were ignited by a greater force than themselves. I think about the process that it had to take to even create something so great and for every thing to function properly. I am sure there were a lot of mistakes made and retakes. They had a vision of the final process and though it took a lot of energy, time, investment and sacrifices they did what was necessary to complete the task and reach their goal. Nothing is given without sacrifice. In order for God to save the world He had to sacrifice His only Son. If you aren’t willing to make the sacrifice for “IT” 9 times out of 10 it want come to pass. I will have to admit I am not one who has the best vocabulary, may not use the best pronunciation or even the best diction, but I am at this point in life that I am willing to do whatever it takes to better myself for where God is taking me to. I sometimes more than not find myself getting tripped up on words that are similar in appearance but their meanings are different, like won’t and want. I know what I want to say at the time, but then when I’m getting it out it may come out the wrong way. Now I’m trying to go through the process of transformation. Transforming and undoing years of wrong learning, teaching and bad habits that I’ve picked up along the way. Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve been doing wrong until The Lord sends you someone along your path to not only tell you, but also showing you and helping you through the process. A lot of people want to tell you your wrong doings, but never show you or help you through the process. In this process we have to be willing to accept corrective criticism and be open to change. Not everyone is out to hurt you or hope that you will fail. I hadn’t always been in that place to accept or receive that. It would actually make me cringe. The problem wasn’t so much other people as I thought, but it was what I thought and how I viewed myself. I walked around with a wall up, guarded and on the defense feeling the need to protect myself because of things I experienced all the way down to my childhood. I thought that it was helping me, but it was only hurting me and left me broken and damaged goods. When I finally made the choice to forgive the process of my thinking began to change which changed my life. Though this process hasn’t been easy and it is a day by day sometimes minute by minute step I can not only see but feel the change in my life. Sometimes you have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired not so much of other people I was sick of ME. The transformation ALWAYS begins with the individual. The day I began to sacrifice myself up to God was the day my life changed forever. #CLEANTHISHOUSE

Cut The Cord

Inspirational, , , , , ,

New Thing by Joshua Cole
“Behold, I will do a new thing! Now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert” Isaiah 43:19

Sometimes the biggest fight in your life is when you have to cut the umbilical cord. The thing that once gave you life has died and if you don’t cut the cord you could die too.
As I bring a close to this year I have found it to be such a struggle with trying to push forward. God is changing my whole face of ministry for me and how I thought it was going to be and the channel or vehicle in which it was going to go through. Today I was feeling some kind of way as I was having to go back to my home church that I haven’t been to in almost 5 yrs and now someone else resides there. Even though I was going there to support someone else it was more about me. Before going into the new year God said that I was going to have to physically go back to the place that once gave me life and cut the cord. I didn’t realize that some part of me was still holding on as I would try to search for something that somewhat resembled what was not knowing it was hindering my growth because I was not accepting fully where and what God had for me now. I was physically moving forward, but subconsciously I still had one hand holding on. When a baby is born one of the 1st things they do is cut the cord. Now that the baby is outside of the womb it no longer will be able to feed or exist off of what it use to because it is in a new environment. When something is out of its element it eventually dies unless it reconnects and adapts to the new environment that it is in. Like a new-born baby it now has to adapt and live outside the womb. You can’t move forward if you are still connected to a dead thing, your past or looking back. It is now just a building but every experience, everything I learned lives within me and it is for me to carry on by moving forward and using that which is within me. #CLEANTHISHOUSE

Be Aware of the Silent Killers

Inspirational, , , , , , , ,

A Heart That Forgives by Kevin Levar

At the end of my marriage as it started to spiral down hill I began to really seek the Lord with how we got here. The questions I asked him was 1. Where did we go wrong? 2. Where did I go wrong? His response to the 2nd question was that not only did you have unforgiveness against your husband but you had unforgiveness against your father which went all the way back to your childhood. Over a period of time because I never dealt with it when other things happened in my life and I didn’t know how to properly deal with them it only supressed them and began to poison me on the inside. My anger turned into resentment, into bitterness, into unforgiveness which began to manifest on the outside. I didn’t even like myself at times, but I didn’t know how to fix it, how do I fix me. Saved, sanctified, sho nuff filled with the Holy Ghost, but I was a mess hiding behind the masks that I had picked up over the years. We mirror what we see, not knowing it is killing us. So because of the unresolved issues with my dad I saw my husband as my daddy in some areas and I treated him how I treated my daddy added on top of things we were already dealing with. When God revealed to me of my unforgiveness it was like a light bulb went off in my head. Why didn’t I think of this before now. Though it wasn’t enough to save my marriage it was enough to save me. So I started working on getting myself together and getting healed. I repented and forgave of all. There was such a feeling of freedom and peace that came over me that I had never felt before. When I forgave my daddy not only did it began to heal our relationship, but the relationship of our family and me. It was like a trickle down effect. That unforgiveness held up a lot of areas in my life. Now I do whatever it takes to maintain it. It takes more energy to hold onto negativity than to just let it go. The reward in doing so is life changing. Sometimes it’s not the things that happen to us in life or the people in it that will kill us, but the things that we inhale, digest and allow to sit in our system. If we don’t continually clean out our system over a period of time it will become as a poison that will slowly work its way through our body system. Heaven forbid if it gets in our blood stream that will eventually break down the body system. You can go for years without any symptoms at all until what’s in you begans to manifest on the outside. Be careful of the silent killers: unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness, depression, anger, etc. Kill IT before IT kills you.
#CLEANTHISHOUSE

Going Back IS NOT An Option

Inspirational, , ,

I Won’t Go Back by William McDowell

                                                                                                          

I was standing in the kitchen having a conversation with my girls and my youngest daughter made the statement that she wanted to go back. Puzzled I’m like you won’t to go back where, to the apartment? With excitement she said yes! As I was turning away from her I asked why would you won’t to go back there? I’m thinking in my mind how the Lord has blessed us with a home, you have your own room, more room to play, etc. Back there we were in a 2 bedroom apartment, with 1 bathroom and hardly any extra room to move. I didn’t hear her give a response so as I turned around I looked at her face and she began to cry. I embraced her and asked her what’s wrong and again why would you won’t to go back THERE? She said I don’t know. Then the Lord brought it to my remembrance that back there her parents were together, but now we are divorced. Her sister would be at home, but she is now in College in L.A. I acknowledged how she felt by letting her know that it was ok for her to feel the way she was feeling and that I understood, but we want to be able to go back. She began to cry even more and I explained to her say if me and your daddy got back together and your sister came home and we went back to the apartment it would not make things return back to the way it used to be. So much has happened up until this point and we are not the same. I know it is hard right now, but it will get better. I do believe God can redeem the time that has been lost but it is never back to its former state. A lot of times we revert back to the familiar, what is comfortable because we think it’s easier just to turn around and go back. In actuality in most cases things become worse. Have you ever found yourself saying if I could go back there knowing what I know now? It is the experiences of life good and bad that has caused us to be who we are today. In life we will face many challenges, but if we continue to trust God and follow His lead He promised to never leave us nor forsake us.I know that back there seemed good, but what God has for us now is so much better. No turning back moving forward. #CLEANTHISHOUSE

When Your In One Place But Your Heart Is Some Where Else

Inspirational, , , , , , ,


My Life, My Love, My All by Kirk Franklin

Where your treasure is therefore your heart is also Matt 6:21
For sometime now I feel like I have been in this struggle of where I belong since the closing of my former church home. I have been in this place of searching or more like transition for what I felt was “home” For 37 years of my life I was in 1 place. Never went from church to church, because I was always taught to be committed where you are. Then God decided to disrupt my life in every way manageable with what felt like a stripping away, cutting back, pruning or surgery which all doesn’t feel good. Over the years I haven’t gotten comfortable with where I was whether it was my job, place to live, etc. because the moment I became comfortable here comes God shaking stuff up. Transition is always continual in life as we go from Glory to Glory. But what happens when you find yourself in a compromising state where you are in one place but your heart is somewhere else.You love where you are to some degree, but yet your unsettled, you haven’t found at one point you thought was “There”. You are still unfilled in the purpose of God for your life. When what’s in you has grown outside of where you are. It leaves you in an uneasy position or feeling like ok God what do I do now, do I leave or do I stay, but where shall I go. It’s like when you’re in a torn relationship. You know the time has come to end it, but instead of letting go you hang on. You become comfortable and settle. You become distant, on edge, irritable and you have no peace. You care about them, you even love them, but you’re not in love with them. Then there’s someone else who has peaked your interest. When you see them you get these butterflies in your stomach. There is this peace you feel when your around them. Your compatible in every way. Everything flows as if a perfect fit when sticking your hand into a glove that is the right size, your hands feel warm, secure and protected. Your desire to be with them becomes stronger the more you are around them or communicating with them. You get that gut feeling and the sense of yeah!this is the one, this is where I belong. Even in that you still have to use caution because everything that “feels” right doesn’t mean it is right. In all things we still have to consult the council of the most high God. In spite of what we feel we don’t want to make a hasty decision without the direction of God. It’s all in God’s timing and we must trust Him still. #CLEANTHISHOUSE

I Feel My Second Wind

Inspirational, ,


Before I Die By Kirk Franklin
A fighter prepares for their fight by exercising, eating healthy, sharpening their boxing skills and techniques. They also look at their previous fights not only of themselves but of their optants to study their techniques and patterns. I have never been much of a boxing fan except for when it came to Mohammad Ali and watching Rocky, but they encouraged me to keep fighting though our techniques maybe a little different. No matter what they never stopped fighting. The biggest struggle I think during a fight is when we have been fighting for so long we become tired, weary and hopeless to the point that we even stop fighting back. We lose our vision along the way as we began to focus on the background noise, the things that surround us. We have taken so many blows that we began to lose sight of our optants that were swinging at nothing but air. Our problem is that we keep going, but seldom take the time for to catch our breath, regroup and then go at it again. We need to shake ourselves, wipe our face, refocus, square our shoulders up and go in again. You were built for this, catch your second wind. I may fall down sometimes, but it will never make knock me out. A good fighter never stops fighting even when they lose a battle.
#CLEANTHISHOUSE

Go Through The Process

Inspirational, ,

Overcome by New Life Worship

 Yesterday when I went to get my mail I received something from the Red Light Enforcement Program. Scratching my head I opened it up and there were 3 shots of my car which included one of my licenses tag. Apparently I was being issued a ticket for running the red light. Right! With my mouth wide open all I could say was WOW! I remembered the moment very well as if it were yesterday. I was trying to get to my destination by a certain time and as I approached the light and it was turning yellow instead of my cautioning to stop I put the petal to the metal thinking I had a little more time and went straight through the light. Speed doesn’t mean progress and nor will it insure you to get to your destination any quicker. I still would have had to go through the process of waiting at the next light. So what if I were a few minutes late. What if someone would have taken a chance at the same time that I did, it could have be worse than just a ticket.  Sometimes in life we must take chances, but some chances can be fatal if they aren’t the right ones to take. We have to learn to stop taking short cuts and chances that at one time or another worked for us so we thought. The next time it could cause us major damage or something more fatal. Is it worth taking our life or the life of someone else. Everything that we do effects no only us but someone else. If I would have paced myself I would have had more time. Time management. Preparing my clothes the day before, getting plenty of rest by going to bed a little bit earlier, wake up a little bit earlier, leave out a little earlier. This would not only help me to get to my destination on time if not earlier, but also prepare me for any delays that might come along the way. Even though I reached my destination on time I had to gather myself before even getting out of the car because I felt rushed and on edge. If we get anything in life before it’s time especially when we are aren’t ready for it the same thing that was meant to be bless us could turn around and curse us. The things that we learn while going through the process become much more valuable when we have reached or destination at the appointed time. #CLEANTHISHOUSE

 

Looking Beyond What I See

Inspirational, , , , , , ,

I Choose by India Arie

I’ll Be There by Tiffany Evans Cover by Kadesha Barnard

I was driving to work this morning and I ended up behind a handicapped bus and the 1st thing that came to my mind was they are going to take forever. The Lord reminded me of my impatience and my wrong perception. I immediately asked the Lord to forgive me. My mind then went to a conversation me and my spiritual son had last night. At the age of 12 he had a gun shot wound to his head. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I was an Administrator at a Home Health Agency at the time. The Dr’s gave him zero chance of survival. They said if he survived he would be a vegetable the rest of his life. He would have to feed from a tube, never able to talk or having any feeling in his body. It is 6 yrs later and though he is paralyzed I was able to hold a 2 hr conversation with him. He can just about eat anything he wants, he no longer has a trach, he still has some sensations in parts of his body, he is back in school and is graduating this yr. He still has the desire to go off to school to be a lawyer. I encouraged him to look beyond his present condition and go for it. In life our situations and circumstances will change, but it doesn’t change the call or the anointing God has placed on your life. We may have to go another way and it may even take a little longer to get there, but with God ALL things are possible. Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that he who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” Don’t allow your circumstances to disable you, cripple you or handicap you from fulfilling the purpose of God in your life. #CLEANTHISHOUSE

What Your Feeding On Could Eventually Feed On You

Inspirational, , , , , ,

Almost 3 1/2 yrs ago I found out I was Gluten intolerant so I had to go Gluten Free. What is that actually, what does that intel, what does that mean for me? I have never heard of such a thing. I felt it was the worst timing ever to try to change and adapt yet to another thing.
After doing my research I found out that if I didn’t get it under control that it could eventually turn into Celiacs Disease which could lead into cancer. I also found out a lot of the symptoms that I had been dealing with for well over 7 yrs may have been a result of that. At that time Gluten intolerance was uncommon and not very common when I found out about it. I am a person who doesn’t like to take a lot of medicine, so the best thing I could do was change my diet. No more wheat, whey or barley which was in just about everything. The 1st year was sooo hard for me. It was almost like going through rehab and going through the periods of withdrawals. I couldn’t do fried foods, most sweets or pastas. I lost a lot of weight which I didn’t need to lose. I had to look at all ingredients when I shopped and when going out to eat I had to ask. The things that I started to notice were having very little to no headaches, abdominal pain, constipation, depression, fatigue, etc. My thinking was clear, I felt my energy coming back, I was feeling better than I had felt in years, I was getting my life back. After being on it for a while I could tell if I ate something I wasn’t suppose to because those symptoms would come back. Sometimes it would affect me right away or it would be several days after consumption. I think about how we eat off of or consume the things that aren’t good for us. Unhealthy and ungodly life styles, relationships, the things we allow others to dump on us, what we even speak out of our own mouths. We know what it will or what it would eventually cause down the line, but yet we still do it. The things that produce outwardly in our lives are the things that already existed and was growing on the inside. Whatever you feed the most is what will grow. If you don’t want to see it manifested in the future then watch what we intake today. Be careful the things you inhale good or bad will come back out eventually and will double sometimes triple it’s size of consumption.#CLEANTHISHOUSE