Category Archives: Inspirational

The Good Shepherd

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” –Deuteronomy 31:6-8

When the Pandemic hit in 2020, like most of the world, I experienced anxiety, fear, and doubt on a level that I had never experienced before. During the first year of the pandemic, I worked remotely from home, and though it brought me and my girls even closer, it affected me so that even years later I still would find myself recovering from the emotional impact that it caused.

As someone who is an extrovert and thrives off other people, I found myself not wanting to be around a lot of people and liked it better when we were limited to coming out. Not only was I having to deal with my own emotions but trying to deal with my girl’s emotions and making sure they made it through the school year. I also worried about my oldest daughter who was on the other side of the country in Los Angeles.

I have gone through some dark days in my life, but I believe the pandemic brought about so many emotions that I didn’t realize were there. You had no choice but to deal with yourself. And everything was magnified even more.

But no matter how dark my day or what I may have been feeling at the time, I know that God was always with me. As long as I kept trusting Him to lead and guide me, He was always covering me and my family, providing, and making a way out of no way. It was my faith in Him that caused me to keep going even in times when I felt like giving up.

Eventually, I was able to get back to that place of solitude through gardening, cooking, writing, and exercising. I was invited to go to Hotworks, a place where you could do individualized exercises in a Hot Sauna, which was different for me but willing to give it a try.

One day I came in and after my exercise, I sat in one of the empty rooms in solitude for about 30 minutes. I sat there and allowed my mind, body, and soul to just sit there in quietness. What I began to realize is that sitting in a place of solitude allowed me to reset, recharge, unwind, release, and refocus, without any expectations from myself or others.

The more time that you spend with yourself, the more you will discover who you truly are. It doesn’t mean you are alone or lonely; it means you are dedicating time to yourself. It was worth the investment. It also allowed me to reset and draw even closer to God.

Better Days

Rainy days are a reminder that the sun will shine again

Nights are a reminder that morning is around the corner

Bad days are a reminder that better days are coming

May you always have a reason to smile.

Tiona Hall – Safe In His Arms

https://youtu.be/DgJIz6skNxo?si=auw4K6sOdYCteJET

The Secret Place

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High God shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” – Psalm 91:1

Last week, I had to bury my cousin who had died by an act of violence. He was only 29 years old and an only child.  It was a great and senseless loss. He didn’t have to die the way that he did.  My heart goes out to his mother and her sisters, who have had to endure loss after loss after loss. This one has been tough to get past, yet our hope and trust still lie in the hands of the Most High God.

During the repass before the funeral, there were times that we were able to embrace each other as we were coming in.  There were people that we hadn’t seen in a long time, and it was a joy to see them but not under these circumstances. There were times when the pain was so unbearable, yet you could still feel God’s presence there.

The young people, who we call, “the church kids” were getting ready to sing, “A Secret Place” by Karen Clark Sheard. As the lead singer began to sing, I closed my eyes and allowed the words to minister to me.

Song

This world sometimes seems cruel and cold / And pain doth pierce my very soul / But there’s a place, a secret place / A place where I can go

For you shall hide me in Your tabernacle / From the rain and storm / And even when my enemies pursue me / You’ll keep me safe from harm

There is safety, in your tabernacle / There is protection, in your tabernacle / There is security, in your tabernacle / There is a sanctuary, in your tabernacle

Before I knew it, I was singing along with the choir and standing on my feet with my hands raised.  At that moment, we began to worship God right amid our tragedy, pain, and confusion, and God came right on in.  It is only in God that we can find comfort, strength, and peace even in the worst of times.

There have been many times in my life when I didn’t quite understand why God allowed the things He did, times I wanted to give up, and times I wanted to throw in the towel but once I got into my secret place and began to worship God, I felt some release and a sense of direction.

It is in the secret place of God where I can be renewed, restored, healed, and set free. It doesn’t mean I will never hurt again or anything bad won’t happen but that whatever comes or goes, as long as I abide in him, He will carry me through.

“God is a Spirit, and they that worship him must worship Him in Spirit and in truth.” – John 4:24

Everyone can praise God but not everyone can worship him. Worship isn’t about us and what we want or need. Worship is a place where we are in commune with God. A place of reverence and our heart’s posture will express how we feel about Him.

When we worship, it is all about God. We must humble ourselves and be vulnerable, open, and honest with God. Not everyone worships God the same. One may raise their hands, kneel, lay prostrate on the ground, etc… There may be few words spoken or none at all. 

God Always Leaves More Than He Takes Away

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me.” — Psalm 23:4

I found myself crying out to God asking for him to do something because I could no longer live like this. We weren’t even communicating anymore and he started not coming home.  The girls were crying asking where their daddy was and all I could say was I don’t know, he will be home soon.

The girls were at my parents house because I was going out of town for a church service. As  I was sitting at the table I heard, “I want a divorce”.  I didn’t think my heart could break anymore but it felt like it was shattered into a million pieces. I begged him to stay but his mind was already made up.

Lord, this is not what I asked for.  I was looking for You to work a miracle. I wanted You to fix our marriage. This wasn’t the change that I was expecting. I was always told to pray about it, and give it to the Lord, and He will fix it. But I later realized that He can’t fix what you aren’t willing to confront and it takes two to make a marriage work.

The struggle was real. There were many days and nights I cried.  I still went to work trying to hold myself together while my world was falling apart. Many nights I would cry myself to sleep.  The saying, “When it rains it pours” was evident in my life.

I am going through a divorce. Our families are torn apart. People chose sides.  Our pastor had died and the only church I have known all of my life went into foreclosure. There was death after death, after death and then to beat it all I was told after almost seven years of being on my job that they were going to have to lay me off due to a recession.

Here I am a single mother with three small girls.  What was I going to do?  How in the world was I going to do this? I finally said yes, to God’s will.  I told the Lord if this is the way I have to go then I need for him to keep us and provide for me and my girls so that I don’t have to go back to my parents.

One thing that I knew for sure is that God was real in my life and the same God that brought me through before was going to bring me through again. I had to totally trust Him regardless of the odds that were stacked against me. The good thing about storms is that they come to pass and not to stay. I knew I had three little people depending on me and in the midst of my darkness, I kept seeing this light at the end of the tunnel bidding me to keep pressing forward.

God always leaves more than He takes away

Fast forward to the other side of through. I have been divorced for 14 years now and the Lord blessed us with our first home. My oldest daughter graduated college with a Bachelor of Arts degree and is making headway in acting and singing. My middle daughter has just entered her third year in college and is breaking school records in the discus. My youngest who is the brainiac, started school as a junior and just made the President’s list with a 4.0 GPA. The Lord blessed us to build our first home and I am getting ready to start to start truly living my life and will soon publish my first book.

I didn’t realize until now that I  grieved my marriage and the loss of our family on and off for almost 14 years. DIVORCE is like a death and if you haven’t experienced it you have no idea how it feels.  You mourn the very thing that was.  You don’t go into marriage thinking of being divorced, you think it is forever.

That thing almost took me out of here but I survived.  It wasn’t until the beginning of this year that I could truly feel that my grieving was coming to an end, the storm was passing and my heart was starting to completely heal. So I made the first step, changing my last name back to my maiden name.  For the first time in a long time, I finally felt free.

The Significance Of A Pearl

Matthew 13:45
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls,”

Growing up I would always hear, “Be careful not to cast your pearls into the swine” Matthew 7:6.  The real significance of a pearl never really set in until today.

I was born in the middle of June where summer begins so, winter is not my friend. Pearls are my birthstone and have always been my favorite piece of jewelry. A couple of years ago my daughter Kade’sha bought me a tiger eye bracelet that had a pearl in the middle for Mother’s Day and my mother bought me a pearl set with diamonds for my birthday. They are two of my favorite pieces that I own. This year for my birthday I decided to invest in myself and bought a pearl ring. I have only had it 6 months and the pearl has already fallen out twice.  Even though I had a warranty what is the purpose of taking a chance with losing the pearl if it continues to fall out.

The jeweler explained to me that pearls aren’t meant to be worn every day, only on special occasions. Because of how the pearls are made it is hard to secure them, but they are very beautiful to look at. They represent elegance, class, beauty, wealth, and wisdom.  I loved it, but today I traded it in for something else.

“I am uniquely made”

Did you know that pearls are the only gem that is naturally formed inside another creature? Unlike other gems, it requires no cutting or polishing as is uniquely made and stands on its own. The pearl is also one of the most delicate gems that are valuable, very rare, and must be handled with care.  When getting dressed it should be the very last piece that you put on because perfumes, hairsprays, etc. could tamper it.

Biblically in Matthew 7:6, a pearl is being referred to as to not to waste what is valuable on fruitless endeavors. Just like a pearl we were also created from something natural. We were created in God’s image. Wonderfully and fearfully made by the hands of God and we are precious in his sight.

Prayer:

Lord as we enter into a New Year, we want to thank you for pulling us through. May we be careful who we give ourselves to and how we allow others to handle us. Like a pearl, I am valuable, unique, and very rare. I AM WORTH IT!  Help us to realize our true value and worth on the earth. That we will continue to become more like who you have created us to be.

Affirmations:

  1. I am passionately loved (Romans 8:38, Psalm 56:8, Isaiah 43:4)
  2. I am a new person in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17, Isaiah 43:18-19)
  3. I can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13, Deuteronomy 20:4, 1 Corinthians 15:57)
  4. I am remarkably made (Psalm 139:14, Psalm 139:1-24, Genesis 1:27)
  5. I am extraordinary (Ephesians 2:10, Genesis 1:27)
  6. I am valuable (1 Peter 1:18-19, John 3:16, Psalm 56:8)
  7. I am chosen (John 15:16, 1 Peter 2:9, Ephesians 1: 4)
  8. I am courageous (Deuteronomy 31:6, 2 Timothy 1:7)
  9. I am a conqueror (Romans 8:37, Deuteronomy 20:4, 1 Corinthians 15:57)
  10. I am strong (Deuteronomy 31:6, Psalm 138:3, Isaiah 40:30-31, 2 Corinthians 12: 10)
  11. I am forgiven (1 John 1:9, Ephesians 1:7, Colossians 3:13)
  12. I am fearless (2 Timothy 1:7, Psalm 23: 4, Psalm 56:3-4)
  13. I am blessed (Ephesians 1:3, Matthew 5:1-48, 3 John 1:2)
  14. I am righteous (Romains 1:5, 2 Corinthians 5:21)
  15. I am pure (1 John 3:3,1 Peter 1:22)
  16. I am patient (1 Corinthians 13:4, Galatians 6:9)
  17. I am kind (Colossians 3:12, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
  18. I am heard (Psalm 116:1-2, 1 John 3:22)
  19. I am enough (2 Peter 1:3, 2 Corinthian 3:5, Colossians 2:10)
  20. I am not alone (Deuteronomy 31:6, Isaiah 54:10, Psalm 48:14, Psalm 46: 1-2)
  21. I am healed (1 Peter 2:24, Isaiah 53:5, Psalm 147:3)
  22. I am accepted (Romans 15:7, Romans 8:14-19, Romans 8:34, Ephesians 1:3-6, Colossians 1:21-22)
  23. I have a future(Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28, Philippians 1:6)
  24. I am at peace (Philippians 4:6-7, Psalm 23, Mathew 6, Psalm 94: 19)

Song List

For My Good

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

” I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing”

My grandmother was a diabetic who was also taking insulin. I was currently working with a home health agency where I helped arrange it for my agency to provide home health care. The older she got, the more I could see her dwindling. It was hard to see her that way as she was always so vibrant and full of energy. I was very concerned that she was not taking care of herself as she should.

The one thing about diabetics is that if they get any sores, cuts, or blisters, they are always harder to heal. If not taken care of, it can cause it to get infected and eventually form gangrene. My grandmother ended up with a cut on her foot that got infected and started to turn into gangrene in her toes. To keep it from spreading to the rest of her body, they wanted to amputate her toes. Of course, she did not like that, but we talked her into having it done.

My grandmother was a trooper and did not allow a cast to keep her from doing what she needed to do. I remember her getting to the point where she was walking without much assistance. She was a short little petite something and would have to look up to me, but she would always remind you who that she was the boss.

Eventually, the infection came back, and the gangrene spread to her leg. There was talk about her leg getting amputated. She was not in agreement with having her leg amputated. She could not bear them taking that from her. There was no talking her out of it. She was very prideful when it came to certain things. Unfortunately, my grandmother passed away due to other complications. Though I miss her dearly, I am glad she is at peace and is no longer is suffering.

Every season requires pruning

I remember last year when I was pruning one of the bushes in my front yard. The plant was not dying at all. It was beautiful and healthy, but it was getting too big and looking a little wild. So, I needed to prune it back some.

Have you ever wondered why things have happened in your life? Why it seems like there are some people, circumstances, or situations that were so abruptly? You never saw them leaving, you never saw it coming, and you never thought it would happen the way that it did.

Just like with my grandmother and how the doctors were trying to prevent the infection from spreading, there are times where certain things are not bringing forth fruit in our lives God must cut those pieces out. God’s intent is not to hurt or harm us but so that we will be able to produce good fruit.

“And we know that all things work together for good of them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28

The older I become, the more I realize that there were people and things that I connected to that caused me to produce some unhealthy fruit in my life, and to prevent it from spreading and causing more damage, God had to remove it. In my disobedience, immaturity, and toxicity caused me to mismanage, mishandled my relationships, and situations that could have been prevented or handled differently. I put people in the place where only God should have been. I can not do anything and be fruitful apart from God.

I am grateful for God’s continual love for me and that he never lets me get too far from his plan for my life. Anything that God does or allows is not to hurt or harm us but does so as apart of our making. The pruning may be hard at the moment, but it will be the very thing that will cause us to grow in the long run if we allow God to continue to work on us and through us.

Song List

The Power Of Letting Go

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me” Pslam 51:10-12

The things that we release will have to be replaced.

The question is what are we replacing them with? A negative plus a positive is still a negative. Releasing a bad habit to pick up another one only creates more. Releasing something toxic but to only replace it with more toxicity will leave you with more damage. The more we can eliminate the negatives in our life and replace them with positive ones will put us on a path to wholeness.

In my own life because I didn’t know who I was and whose I was in an effort to fill those voids I did so with the wrong things and the wrong people which caused me to normalize my dysfunction.

The older I become the more I have tried to create a place of peace. Anything that disturbs that place of peace can create a toxic environment. Making sure that I pay attention to those trigger points and red flags. That discernment or gut feelings is real. I also realize that there are things within me that may have caused me to be toxic to other people.

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in good health, even a thy soul prospereth” 3 John 2

When hearing this scripture I have mostly heard it being referenced to prospering in materialistic things or acquiring materialistic gain. God wants us to be whole in every aspect of our life and to learn how to have balance so that we are able to maintain it. Our character, our business, at work, in our resources, our health and our relationships. Growing up I was taught to focus on the spiritual aspects of my life which caused me to be religious in my thinking, judgmental and unbalanced.

In the midst of this pandemic God has me in a place of restoration, healing and is setting me free from things that has held me in bondage due to unresolved trauma, normalized behaviors that created unhealthy habits, unhealthy behaviors and life styles. I have asked God to reveal the sources and now I am doing the necessary work to become a better version of myself. We can not truly prosper if we are physically, emotionally, and mentally sick.

It takes more energy to hang on than to let go of the things that are doing more harm to us

Sometimes in our effort to move on if we don’t take the time to heal from what has happened it can cause further damage. In order for us to start to properly heal we must:

1. Assess the damage that has been done. Not acknowledging or avoiding what has happened will cause you to internalize your pain. Be honest how you are feeling.

2. Deal with what has happened. Allow yourself the time to properly grieve. Find away to allow yourself to be vulnerable and release what you are feeling in a healthy way.

3. Resolve any unresolved issues within ourselves. Take a moment to self reflect. Take ownership of anything that you may have done. Make sure to not only forgive others but to forgive yourself as well. Get rid of any anger, resentment or bitterness that may hold you back from moving forward.

” Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice” Ephesians 4:31

I can not do this in my own strength. I have to allow God to create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within. I have to continue to lay down my life daily so he can complete the work in me. With out God’s help it will be a losing battle.

There is a false perception that God will do it all. It is true that God can do anything but he won’t do them without our participation. It is going to take more than just our shout and our prayers. Our unwillingness to do what is necessary to change, heal FOR REAL and evolve will keep us in bondage. “Faith without works is dead” James 2:26

Song List

Beauty Marks

“And they overcame by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto death.”

Revelation 12:11

I wonder how many of us have carried things alone because of our fear of what other people may think.  Not knowing who to trust with our issues. Thinking no one would understand or be able to help. Maybe you trusted someone, and they dropped you. So, instead of getting the help you so desperately needed you continued to suffer in silence.

I have made so many bad decisions because I allowed the opinion of other people to rule my life. I am grateful that God is delivering me from the opinion of other people and allowing me to walk boldly in the freedom in which he has given me.  I can do this the more I rely on His strength and direction and knowing who I am in him.

” I can do all things through Christ that strengthens”

Philippians 4:13

We are all imperfect people. So, no matter our religious beliefs, the color of our skin, or our sexual orientation God still loves us, and his desire is that we all be made whole and set free. We are all fighting our own demons whether we want to admit it or not. It is a daily walk, and we are always in need of his grace.

The thing about scars is that it shows the Glory of God and what he can do in our lives if we allow him to. Some of us are still healing from scars that have left us wounded, hurt, and broken. The good news is that God can still heal, deliver, and set us free from the things that have continued to keep us in bondage.

Scars are evidence that God is still working in our lives

Some of our scars have been embarrassing. We have experienced some very painful moments that go deep. We should be embracing our scars but instead we have become ashamed of them due to the condemnation that can come from other people. Gods loves for us is unconditional despite our history. Scars show the power of God working in our life. They are evidence of the things we have conquered, what we have overcome and survived through.

No matter how far you have come there will always be people who will try to remind you of where you have been but the one thing they will never be able take away from you is what God has done in your life because of it.  Let that be your point of reference and a place to focus.

We have nothing to be ashamed of because the blood of Jesus Christ covers all our scar’s past, present, and future. The testimony of my scars is a sign that you too can recover. So, I wear my scars proudly because I know that nobody, but God could do that for me.

Song List

Embracing My Scars

“But he was wounded for our transgression, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed” Isaiah 53:5

Have you ever had an accident where it left a scar? Depending on the damage or severity of the accident would determine the type of scar it would leave or the length of time it would take for the scar to heal. If the damage is not attended to or handled properly it will cause a lasting scar with internal damage.

Scars remind me that I have been hurt but God reminds me that he can still heal

Scars can spiritually be a representation of things that have happened in our past by trauma experiences.  They can also be a representation of emotional scars that have not been dealt with.

Scars can sometimes be visible, while others are hidden. Some scars are big, and some are small. Even over a period some scars unresolved can still hurt and take longer to heal. If left unchecked they can leave a lasting memory that we wish to forget. Instead of healing from them we bury them and deeply embed them within our soul.

No matter the depth or height of our scars, there is no scar that God can not heal.  He has the power to heal us as if we have never been hurt. We must be willing to do the work it takes to be made whole.  When we allow God to completely heal our scars instead of coming from a place of hurt and pain, we can come from a place of healing, freedom, and peace.

My scars are a testament of what God can do. Through my experiences in life it was through my continued faith in God that brought me through.  Also, my continuing in pursuit to want to be mad whole and doing what is necessary to be set free. That meant I have had to deal with the man in the mirror and some ugly truths about myself.

“If the Son shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed” John 8:36

This journey is an ongoing process to the freedom that God has truly called us to live.  I am determined to continue in becoming a greater version of my last self.  My prayer is that you will be encouraged through the testimony of my scars.

Song List

Below The Surface

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“Nothing changes if nothing changes”

As I was vacuuming the steps this morning, I noticed the railings.  It reminded me that I needed to repaint them.  Something said, “why not just take a damp cloth and wipe them off”.  I thought to myself why not.  As I begin to wipe them off, I was so disgusted at how much dirt was on the railings.  It was not even the fact that I needed to touch it up with paint but that it needed to be cleaned off. My youngest daughter was coming down the steps and I said do you see how clean this is?  She said, “was all of that dirt?”  I replied, “yes.  We were both surprised and disgusted. So, we know we need to clean them off more often.

I went back to finish cleaning the steps and as I was cleaning in the crease of the steps the Lord started dealing with me about how we are sometimes ok with just dealing with the surface things in our life. Dealing with the surface does not require much work nor does it allow us to walk in total freedom. We appear to look like we have it all together and we are a mess, we appear to be ok and when we are not, we appear to be happy and we are miserable or we appear to be well and we are really sick. We do not want anyone to know that we are silently suffering, and it is killing us.

“What is being manifested on the surface is the overflow of what has existed underneath”

The things that normally surface to the top are the things that have already being existing from within.  Currently we are in a pandemic and the death of yet another black man that has now started a Revolution is finally causing us to deal with what has always been. Racism at its best and a systemic system that needs to be broken. Although this did not begin with George Floyd, it has lit a fire to start the process of some necessary changes as well as healing. Our nation has appeared to be well and we have been sick for a long time. It is now starting to rear its ugly head.

For things to progress and change we can no longer just deal with the surface. What is on the surface is not the real issue and it will only bring temporary healing. We must dig deep and pull it up from the root. The system they created is working the way it is supposed to. Until a system that was never created for us changes and we get rid of the people who continue to work that same system, we will continue this same fight.

“Keep thy heart with all dilligience; for out of it are the issues of life” Proverbs 4:23

Before there can be a true change in a nation there also has to be a change within us.  This is also shinning a light on where we are individually and our need for change. The true work begins within. Then we can be more effective to the change in our homes, our community, and our nation.

My prayer is that you would allow God to deal with the root of those things that keep surfacing to the top, so that you can walk in total freedom and victory. That you would have the motivation and strength to do the work needed so that you can be free.

Song List

Give Me Some Room

Be like a tree

“Stay grounded. Connect with your roots. Turn over a new leaf. Bend before you break. Enjoy your natural beauty. Keep growing”

by Joanne Raplis

A couple of months ago I brought all my plants home from work since we are now teleworking. I knew that I needed to repot all of them but kept delaying the process. Well what better time to do them, now that I have them at home. I would notice that the leaves would grow and then die. I knew that it was not getting over watered because I only watered it once a week. So, I figured it probably needed to be repotted.

To my surprise when I pulled it out of the pot I noticed:

1. How hard the roots were – they had formed into the container it was confined to.

2. Its barley had any soil left – it was not getting the proper nutrients

3. It was running out of room to grow.

Could it be that it was dying because it was suffocating and had no room to grow? That is was not getting what it needed to thrive?

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ”

Philippians 1:6

So, I tried to spread the roots a part, but they were solid. I found a bigger pot and added some new soil. I placed the plant inside, added more soil to cover the sides, and the top completely, and then I watered it down good. Within a week, it looked very healthy, and it was growing like crazy.

God will allow things to change around you to force you to move or make the necessary changes because He knows that you want to do it on your own. Sometimes it is disguised in trauma, heartbreak, and pain. It is not to kill or destroy you, but to realign you and to make you better.

In this season God is healing you, redeveloping you and redefining who you are. He is expanding your territory and stretching your capacity. You want to be able to fit in the container that once held you.

My prayer for you today is that you would allow God to complete the process. That considering all that is going on around you, that you would still have hope to not give up and to keep going.

Song List